It's Just The Beginning...

My childhood was a lot different than most people. My mother was in and out for a while, same with my father. I moved around A LOT!!. D.C., Maryland, Northern VA, Southern VA, Texas... I was all over the place. For as long as I can remember, I have been the chubby girl. I was always told it was baby fat and that it would go away once I got older. I remember during 7th and 8th grade, I was in pretty good shape. ( I was also walking and riding my bike to school and back which was 3 miles round-trip) But when 9th grade hit, that's when things really started to change. I was living in Southwest Virginia, small southern town on Marion, Va. Some of the food was different but OH SO GOOD!!! I didn't realize how the food and less activity would change my body, I really wasn't too concerned with it to be honest with you. I was a cheerleader in 10th grade and over the summer when we got our uniforms and had to try them on.... well I had the biggest size they had and it just barely fit me. Then I hated (not really hated but you get my point) all the skinny girls that didn't have any problem with their uniforms. But I figured that by the time we were done cheer leading for the year, I would have lost all the weight. WRONG! I had to get a job. My first job- WENDYS. As much as I loved (and still love) food, the last thing I thought about then was my health or fitness. So I worked hard and ate good and gained weight. As a matter of fact, all of my jobs while in high school were in the fast food industry, so its what I ate most of the time. I didn't realize what an impact this was making in my mind and body.






Jump ahead to after I graduated (2008-2009), I moved in with my two of my friends. We all worked at McDonalds. I don't need to explain further. Then I find out I am pregnant.






I knew that I had to eat for me and the baby. So I ate my fruits and veggies, eggs, milk, etc.... but I was also eating my fast food and the ice cream cravings were non-stop...












Yeah.... my stomach was big (still had like a month and a half to go)... but I wasn't that big everywhere else so I thought I was good to go, other than my tummy full of stretch marks. Then on May 6th 2010:








The greatest moment of my life, Arianna Janae Saunders-Hall was born via C-Section.<3


I breastfed and a lot of the weight came off. But her father went to jail when she was 13 days old. So I was a 19 year old new parent and then Postpartum Depression hit. Food was what made me feel better so I ate and ate and ate to ease the pain away. I ate until he got out of jail, then I ate more. The man I waited for, visited every weekend so he could watch his little girl grow even though it was only 15 min visits, he turned on me. He began sneaking around, stealing, and treating me like a dog. I got called every name in the book. So I ate more. When I finally worked up the courage to leave, he took my daughter and blockaded himself in the basement. I tried to get the door open and he said "You better stop before your FAT ASS breaks this door"....That broke me down to nothing. After a couple days of arguing, I finally got me and Arianna out of that house and away from him. But mentally and emotionally, every name he called me still stuck. He wasn't done with me yet and I wasn't done with my emotional eating. I was stressed out to the max trying to figure out what to do next. One day, I stepped on the scale and had to blink multiple time to make sure I was actually seeing the numbers I saw: 200lbs!! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?! HOW?!! WHY?!!!


My inner "Debbie Downer" was saying he was right, you are a fat ass and you aren't important to anyone.






*EXCEPT ARIANNA!*






So we moved to Washington DC and I started Massage Therapy School! It was amazing but I still had to work so I got a job with my mom at IHOP.... Uh-Oh! The smells of pancakes, bacon, ham, potatoes. Who could resist? I sure couldn't and didn't. Work during the weekdays, school on weeknights, and then work more during the overnight shift on the weekends. Those overnight shift were the worst. Whenever we were slow, I got one of the cooks to make me some NY cheesecake pancakes or some hashbrowns with cheese or some other ridiculously fattening thing that I wanted that night. Not good at all.






Arianna and I both had check-ups with our doctor. They did a full physical. Blood work and all. About a week later, I get a letter from the doctors office, they wanted me to have a follow up appt because my blood test came back abnormal. In bold letters I read PRE-DIABETIC.


What!! Diabetes runs in my family but ME, 20 years old... oh no not me I don't want diabetes. Something has to be done!...right?






Truth is, I didn't know what to do, I knew what I wanted and where I wanted to be but how do I get there?


I started getting stressed out again. Then one night I was up late, couldn't sleep and I was flipping through channels and I came across a Brazil Butt Lift commercial through Beachbody... those girls looked amazing. It looked like fun and thus something I would actually do so I ordered it. I thought "This is it, I am finally gonna get back in shape and be beautiful like the girls on the commercial"....


I have never been one with a great self-esteem. So when I got my BBL, I was so happy. I wanted to change the way I ate, change my life. I told my mom that with my pre-diabetic status, I needed her to buy better and healthier food. She made the joke that just because I have to eat healthy, she didn't have to, which actually hurt my feelings. It would be good for her, me and Arianna. She would buy me salad, and then everything else she always bought. I remember one day I went and bought a juicer and took it upon myself to do some grocery shopping. I got ground chicken and turkey instead of pork and beef. I got loads of veggies and fruit, granola, I mean I did good. As she watched me put the granola away she commented "I hope you plan on eating all that because it sure doesn't look appetizing". I went to cook dinner (which may or may not have been spaghetti) with the ground chicken and she looked at me with a disgusted look on her face and said. " You're gonna use that?"... How could I eat right if every time I make a good decision, she had a comment that made me want to just say screw it? The only thing that kept me from giving up completely where the people on the Team Beachbody website. One thing I wanted out of the website was a friend and coach that where in the same boat as me as far as the amount of weight that I needed to lose. One of my buddies Janet told me she had an amazing coach named Rachel that had went from 301 to around 130 IN A YEAR!! She sent me a link to Rachel's profile. I sent her a buddy request and we started to talk. We have some much in common and her wise and caring words stuck with me. I needed her as my coach. And I got her. This was the beginning... She put me in a secret challenge group on Facebook which gives you accountability, motivation, and support. Little did I know, unexpected depression and excuses were heading my way






D.C. wasn't what I expected, I wasn't happy there. I really started to miss Marion, VA. Yeah, it's a small town with not a lot to do, but it is a good place to raise kids, not too much crime, and its the place I lived the longest that I can remember of my whole life. I wanted to go back. I ended up stopping BBL and ordered Turbo Jam. I enjoyed TJ a lot, but still ended up giving up on that as well, but Rachel continued to check in on me even after my posts to the challenge group and TBB website had stopped. I feel like anyone else would have just given upon me, figured I was just a waste of time. But she didn't and I am forever thankful for that. Through my talks with Rachel, I realized that I couldn't keep giving excuses for me not taking the step forward, pushing play and eating right. This is in my hands. My body, my health, my life is in my hands. I want to be around for my beautiful little girl for a very long time, but if I don't take care of myself now, that won't happen. I also realized that I wanted to become a Team Beachbody coach. If I could do for someone else what Rachel did for me, it would make me feel so good. I want to help people with their health & fitness. As a Massage Therapist, I am in the health field and I am supposed to tell my clients know how important it is for them to exercise, eat right, and drink plenty of water. I want to be a model of that, not the one saying "Do as I say, not as I do." SO I MADE A DECISION...






Despite what anybody else may have wanted me to do, I moved back to Marion, I am working as a Massage Therapist, just became a Team Beachbody coach and restarting my Turbo Jam. I will eat right, exercise at least 5 days a week and drink plenty of water.






No. I don't have the results that everyone once to see. I am at the beginning of my journey as many people are. I now have all of Beachbody watching and waiting. Watching, Waiting and thus Motivating me to transform my body and mind into the person, the mother, the role-model that I want to be.






My goal is to change another's life while molding, changing and sculpting my own. If I can just reach one person, then that's great! But I want to reach many many more.






Watch me during my journey or join me with a journey of your own.






Just don't give up, don't let anyone hold you back or tear you down. Know that this life is yours. This body is yours. If you are unhappy with any of it, change it.




J'Wana Saunders-Hall, Licensed Massage Therapist

Independent Team Beachbody Coach







http://beachbodycoach.com/FiercelyMe

http://myshakeology.com/FiercelyMe

http://myultimatereset.com/FiercelyMe